


Wondering

by pandajin



Category: JinguIwa - Fandom, Johnny's Jr.
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-05
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-28 07:01:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2723102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandajin/pseuds/pandajin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jinguji Yuta and Iwahashi Genki are going out...<br/>...but it's not like that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm Not Complaining

***8am, Saturday***

 

  
_*beep beep~ beep beep*_

 

“Mmm~” Genki grunted whilst waking up to the noise of his alarm clock. He pulled in his layers of blankets over to his face to cover his eyes from the sun rays coming in from his window.

 

_*beep beep* *beep beep*_

 

His alarm clock continued annoying him. “Mou damare yo~” Genki managed slipping out his right arm from his covers to tap the alarm clock but since he was just tapping blindly, his clock fell from its table instead.

 

Genki shifted himself to a more comfortable position as he was planning to sleep longer when his phone suddenly rang.

 

“What is it this time?” irritated, he snatched his phone from his bedside table and swiped on the screen without even looking who the caller was.

 

“Oi Iwahashi” the person from the other line called. “You better be up already”

 

“Hah?” Genki crossed his brows, although his eyes were still shut. “'Nani wo itteirun da, Jinguuji?”

 

Jinguji heaved out a sigh as if he knew that Genki was still under the blankets. “Yappari. You forgot about it.”

 

“About what?” Genki asked. “Could you just tell it to me straight?”

 

Jinguji chuckled. “Sorry. I forgot that you’re not a morning person.” He paused for a bit. “Well we’re supposed to go out today.”

 

“I TOTALLY FORGOT.” Genki said,sitting on his bed all of a sudden. “What time should we meet again?”

 

“We’re supposed to meet at 8:30 but make that 9. I know you haven’t even taken a bath just yet. You might want to smell decent for our date.” Jinguji chuckled again.

 

 

  
**_> >Genki’s P.O.V.<<_ **

_Stupid_. I thought as the call ended. I then hurriedly took a bath and then groomed myself before I went out of my room for breakfast.

 

“You’re heading out again?” my mother asked me just right after I’ve finished everything on my plate.

 

“Mm.” I nodded once while drinking. I put the glass back on the table. “Jin-chan called me earlier.”

 

“Ah souka.” Mom smiled. “You two seem to be very close friends..ne?”

 

I stood up and slung my bag to my shoulder. “Maa~” I nodded. _No it’s not like that_.

 

“Jyaa...I’m going!” I said before heading outside the house.

 

“Yo!” Jinguji greeted me by a tap on the shoulder.

 

“You’re late~” I complained as I slouched on the bench in the park where we agreed to meet.

 

“I told you we meet at nine. You were obviously here earlier.” He checked his wristwatch, which matches mine, but of a different colour. “It’s only 8:58!”

 

“Whatever.” I said as he too, sat. “What now?” I faced him.

 

“Where do you want to go?” he replied with another question.

 

“Eeto~” I squinted my eyes, thinking of where to go when I felt his left arm over my right shoulder, his hand pulling me closer to his body. “eh?”

 

“Lean on my shoulder.” He told me. And I did.

 

“Let’s stay here for a while.” I decided. Jinguji nodded without a word and then held my right hand with also his right hand.

 

We stayed like that for a good couple of minutes or so until we sensed that someone had taken a photo of us two. We sat up straight and separated.

 

He stood up first. “Iku yo.” He said. I just followed him.

~.~.~

 

 

“Well we’ve finished quite earlier than expected today.” I said as I entered Jinguji’s room, his mother smiling at us from downstairs.

 

“I’ll bring in some snacks for you later~” she said before Jinguji closed the door with the reply of “No, we’ll just go down if we’re hungry.”

 

I sat on his bed, the usual thing that I do first whenever I enter his room. I heard Jinguji sigh as he too, sat on the bed, but he eventually kicked off his shoes and lied down, hugging one of his large blue pillows which he had reached from across the bed.

 

“It’s only 10:20” I said. I didn’t mean for him to hear, I just happened to have said it aloud. He held my forearm and pulled me so I too, kicked off my shoes and lied down his bed. “What?” I faced him.

 

“You woke up earlier than you usually do on weekends, too, right?” he told me. I can tell the sleepiness from his eyes. “Sleep.”

 

I wouldn’t lie. I AM SLEEPY. Well, not until he invited me into his room and the sight of his fluffy bed welcomed me.

 

“Mm.” I nodded, although his eyes were already shut. I reached for one of his pillows, tucked it under my head, and then I turned the opposite way so that I wouldn’t be facing him because, sure, he did look handsome and all, but I do not like anybody’s breath touching the tip of my nose.

 

When I turned to the other side, for some reason what happened today, even though it was still early, crossed my mind. Not that I am complaining about going out with Jinguji every so often but I wonder until when should we keep on going on those scheduled “dates”?

  
It kind of irked me...the idea, not Jinguji, just the IDEA...of having to be paired up, almost like a couple, just to gain more popularity and more fans. It is true that Jinguji and I are close but we are also close to other juniors. It is not only Jinguji and I who sleep beside each other usually, because we guys too have these things called sleepovers where we stay overnight in a house, playing console games until our eyes dropped and we do not even know who is beside us because you know, we are freaking dead asleep and we don’t care whose arm rests over your body because that person is just too sleepy and he’d mistaken you for a pillow.

 

Going out with Jinguji was scripted, not in a way that we actually had a hardcopy of a script but in a way that we know that we should be caught by some fans being lovey-dovey in some corner of a park or somewhere else where there are obviously enough people to see us, because that’s how we could make our fans like us more, or at least that was what the agency had said. Today we stopped our so-called date early because we knew that someone had already taken a picture of us. Probably right now photos are already in the social networking sites.

 

Sorry to break it up to you but I have no romantic attachment whatsoever to this guy sleeping beside me, nor with anybody else in the jimusho.

  
I’m not complaining. I’m just wondering.

 

 


	2. An Article on my Recklessness

       I was always known as the mischievous guy, coming across happenings and going through them almost without thinking how I really should get through them, like that one time when I almost dragged Genki and Kishi into trouble because I went out with them without wearing any disguise whatsoever because for some reason my mother forgot to do the laundry so I had no scarf available and for some reason too, I forgot to wear sunglasses for the day but I still went with Kishi and Genki anyways.  So that day we got stalked mainly because it was too obvious that I am Jinguji Yuta, although it did not look like stalking anymore because the fans did a bad job pretending that they were not following us and that it was too obvious that they were taking photos of us and not just texting. And that wasn’t the trouble part just yet because that same day, we were tired from avoiding the fans that were creepily following us so I grabbed Genki and Kishi by their arms and dragged them to an empty staffs’ room in a nearby amusement park wherein we LUCKILY  got locked from the inside. That caused quite a ruckus in the agency because the three of us were gone up until past eight in the evening and our parents apparently called just about everyone in the jimusho that they know, since we were not able to contact anyone because our phones had no network inside the stupid room but thankfully one of the maintenance staff of the amusement park went to the room to check if the lights were off so the door was finally opened for us. After quite some explaining (and bribing) we were able to get out of the mess without having to notify Johnny-san.

 

 _Reckless_ might be a good word to describe me. That’s what the others had said at least. It was like my whole being was defined by that word. _The name ‘Jinguji Yuta’ is equal to the word ‘reckless’._ It’s not like I adhere to that, I just can’t bring up a good counter-argument which would say that I _indeed am a thinking body._ Or to be honest, I am just too lazy to think.

 

       You see, I suck at thinking: Not in a way that I can’t memorize this shit or that shit they teach in school, nor in a way that I find it hard understanding what a nagging senpai is telling us juniors. It’s just that I cannot seem to make myself have a plan first before acting up on something because honestly, when I try to think or brew plans in my brain, it’s either I mess up halfway and just slow myself down, or realizing that my own plan was crap and then end up proceeding on whatever the matter is in my usual “reckless” way. But I do have fun on what I do. And sometimes, (okay, _rarely_ ), somebody else finds it fun too. Maybe _reckless_ is not the word for me. I think I’d prefer the word _over-adventurous_ , but although I tell people that, they still insist on the word _reckless._ But not everybody tries to shove that word down to my esophagus.

 

 

                He laughed at first. “Well, oh, no. You are not reckless.” He said sarcastically that one evening when we were in the dressing room, resting after our performance. I pouted at his quite jeering expression.

 

                “But...” he said; now speaking with a more serious tone. “I don’t think that you’re reckless in the way that you think it means.” I was just about to open my mouth to question him if what he said was just another sentence similar to saying that my left brain isn’t functioning well so as to not understand something so simple because it really did sound as something like that and I am a bit offended by it. But then before I could even speak, he had already silenced me by gesturing with his hands. “I think you’re thinking that we’re thinking of you as somebody who is _careless._ ” He paused for a moment to let me absorb his words. “Jin-chan, _reckless_ and _careless_ mean the different things. Yes, you do act like you don’t think about things first but I could tell that you do care about the people around you in your own way which includes not involving us in trouble and pulling us out of it when you can, but most people might misunderstand but I am one of those who understands and I just really don’t know what I’m saying right now so I think I’ll just stop.” He chuckled, yet I just sat there staring at him with a slack-jawed expression printed all over my face. What he said was quite disorganized (well he was an over-thinker to start with) but I actually understood.

 

                “What?” he asked, crossing his eyebrows at my dumbfounded state. “Did I say way too much cognitive stuff for you or—”

 

                “Baka.” I cut off his sentence. I stood up. “Better get changed.” I smiled. “You’re getting free dinner from me.” Because he did make me really happy that time; I realized that somebody did pay attention to me or to what I am actually thinking because honestly, even I myself haven’t paid attention to what I am doing. What he said made me realize that I actually am a nice person. My ego was fed and I am happy.

 

                No but seriously, it was really good to find that there is a person who appreciates you other than your family members (who, to begin with, are already burdened with the obligation to appreciate your existence).

               

                I opened my eyes as soon as I knew that he had faced the opposite side and it made me sigh silently seeing the way he distanced a bit by turning his back on me. I’ve known for quite a time now that he doesn’t like too much of a closure as it makes him uncomfortable, maybe it all roots from the bullying he had to go through in the past...and it makes me want to break that discomfort.

 

 For some reason...no. Not for some reason. I am completely aware of what I wanted to achieve. It is one of the very few things I’ve put dedicated thinking on, and it’s the only thing that really made me go bananas the first time I became aware of it because, I ask you: What the shit else am I supposed to feel the first time I realized that I wanted really bad to make a fellow guy feel in safety and comfort with me, and _only_ with me?

               

               

               

               

 

               

 

                                                                                                                                                                                          

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this wasn't proof-read. lol sorry.


	3. I Do Not Understand

***Genki’s P.O.V.***

       I woke up with Jinguji’s face so close to mine.  I think I turned around while I was sleeping. Jinguji, on the other hand was still sleeping; his hair almost covered his left eye and I just noticed that he is not a person who makes little puff sounds through the mouth while sleeping. He looked pretty tired even when he’s sleeping, maybe not because of going out earlier but because of all the dance practice we did yesterday because we stayed inside the agency up until late in the evening.

       

       But although he looked pretty tired, he still looked peaceful. It is quite ironic to look both but it is not impossible. Our distance made me feel a bit uncomfortable, but just a bit. I have grown accustomed to being close to this guy because of all the fanservice we had to give out during live performances and even out in the public during our so-called dates.

 

       I felt something on my waist. It was his right arm. _Heck Jinguji, you already have a pillow, why are you hugging me?_ I felt kind of weird, not the bad weird kind but still weird, so I lifted his arm to take it off me, carefully trying not to wake him up in the process but...

 

       “What are you doing?” Jinguji asked me, his eyes in a squint as he has just awakened.

 

      “Well, uh...” I started, but he cut me off.

 

      “If you wanted so badly for me to hug you, you could’ve just said so.” He grinned cheekily after speaking.

 

       “Baka. I was trying to remove your arm on me because you were hugging me in the first place.” I pointed out, but  it was as if he chose not to listen since he reached his right arm out, placed his hand on my back and then suddenly pushed me closer to him, embracing me again in the process but  the only difference is that this time, we are a lot more closer than we were earlier.

 

       “Happy now?” he grinned once again. I can feel the warmth of his breath against my lips as he spoke. _Why does he always have to make me uncomfortable?_

 

        “This is gross.” I said jokingly as I pushed him on the chest after which I sat up straight on his bed. He turned to the other side with a slight chuckle.

 

 

 

 

*** _two weeks later*_**

       We have already done a ton of shoots for magazines and a lot of live performances.  I have already mastered the lessons in mathematics which seemed to be impossible in the past few weeks.  The trainee pitcher whom I’ve been teaching for almost two months has already perfected all types of ball throwing. I overcame my dizziness during bus trips. Kishi wasn’t so clumsy, Amu wasn’t so hyper and noisy, and Genta didn’t mention Yamada-san’s name for a whole day. For short, everything that seemed impossible happened, which includes Jinguji avoiding me.

 

       Okay, maybe he wasn’t avoiding me. Maybe it’s just me thinking that way but, how am I supposed to not think that way when it’s already been two weeks and the only time that he actually talked to me was in the magazine crosstalk we had to do? After the interview he went back to not speaking to me and I do not understand why he is doing that.

 

        At first I thought “Okay, maybe he’s just pulling a prank on me like he usually does on random people.” so I decided to stay quiet at first but it’s taking too long now if it is really a prank so I have decided to question him straight and face to face because I want this bothersome feeling off me and I am not that innocent type of guy keeping all sorts of things to himself as I usually am portrayed in most of my idol life.

 

       “Hey. Let’s talk.” I told him inside the dressing room after  we had finished back-dancing for one of HSB’s performances. We no longer have any performances after that on the same day so I thought it would be a good time to talk. Reia, who was standing just beside me, chose to drag Aran and Miyachika out of the room whilst saying “Let’s go to the cafeteria, ne?”, because I think he knew why I wanted to talk to Jinguji and he knows how to read the atmosphere although sometimes he chooses not leave but this time he chose to, and so I am thankful to him for that.

 

      Once we were the only ones left inside the room, Jinguji faced me. “What should we talk about?”

 

       “We haven’t had a proper conversation in a while.” I said, pointing out the obvious.

 

       “Oh really?” he replied in the most innocent tone he could have ever pulled out while he scratched the back of his head.

 

      I got mad.

 

        “Oh. Okay. So, like, YOU WERE AVOIDING ME THESE PAST TWO WEEKS. YOU DO NOT SPEAK TO ME. YOU DON’T EVEN LOOK AT ME. AND NOW YOU’RE ACTING LIKE YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING??” I said, my voice growing louder with each word that comes out from my mouth.

 

      He scoffed and then smirked at me.

 

      It boiled my blood.

 

      “Oi!” I shouted again. “I am being serious here!”

 

        Just then, I felt my arm being pulled by Jinguji.  A split second later, I found myself cornered by him, his whole right forearm pressed onto the wall just above me, his face so close to mine that our noses already touched.

 

       “Is everything just play for you?” I stared at him, still angry at how he usually mocks things, even serious matters. I know I’ve told him before that he is not careless, but this is one of the few moments that I really do not understand what goes on in that mind of his.

 

      “No.” As his answer. His expression had softened and his tone changed too. And for some reason it made me relax a bit.

 

       “Then why—”I started to speak again, now in a calm voice, but I was not able to finish my sentence when I saw him lean in closer to me. I know that he knew that I feel uncomfortable with these things but he chose to continue anyway. And then as if I didn’t see it coming, which I really did not, he slowly pressed his lips onto mine.


	4. Chapter 4

I was frozen.

 

I can see Jinguji still kissing me, those warm lips of his brushing through mine in a slow pace. I’d like to do something, like pushing him off away from me but it’s as if my arms refuse to be commanded by my brain. I just stared at him.

 

And then he stopped. He pulled back slowly. He was looking down at the floor.

 

“Why?” was the only word that came out from my mouth. I cannot describe if my voice was in an angry tone or not. I was too shocked to even think.

 

He did not answer. And then he looked at me. There were tears at the corners of his eyes but he turned around quickly and wiped them just before they rolled down to his cheeks. But I do not want that sight to distract me from interrogating him.

 

“Jinguji, oi!” I almost yelled at him. I pulled him by the shoulder to make him turn to face me again. “Wh—”

 

“It was gross wasn’t it?” he blurted out. Then he pursed his lips. “Nandemonai.” He turned around once again and then started to walk towards the door but before he could even turn the knob, I grabbed him by the shoulder once again, quickly held the collar of the shirt he was wearing, and then pulled him.

 

A mix of anger and confusion was printed all over my face. “Y-you went to kiss me, and then you say it’s nothing?!”

 

He heaved out a sigh, of disbelief I think. “So you don’t get it yet?” he paused and then continued again. “ You’re an over-thinker so I thought you were smart—”

 

“Get straight to the point!” I tightened my grip on his collar.

 

“I like you! Okay?” he shouted, but not too loud. “And it’s really frustrating. I wanted to be closer with you but you clearly do not want to, so I tried to restrain myself because I know that you feel uncomfortable when people get close to you at a certain distance. I tried to avoid you but...” he sighed.  “...this happened.” I released my grip on his collar.

 

Before I could even think of what to say, somebody hurriedly opened the door and went inside the room. It was Kikuchi-kun.

 

“What’s happening here?” he looked at both of us. He didn’t even wait for our reply when he started talking again. “From the looks of you two, it seems that you guys are fighting over something but whatever that is, fix it _this second._ ”

 

I gave him a questioning look and he understood immediately. “Well...” Kikuchi-kun started. “It seems that we made mistakes on scheduling today’s performances. You two will have to makeup right now because in exactly three minutes, you’ll be out there again performing.”

 

“WH—” I started but Kikuchi-kun continued speaking.

 

“Only the two of you. You’ll be performing ‘Lips’ again.” He said. “The audio that you two used last time to lip-sync is not available right now so that means you’ll have to perform _live._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely apologize for the reeeeealllly short update. TAT  
> I need sleeeep.  
> And this isn't proof-read so.. *bows* gomen.


	5. Lips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have not updated in quite a long while oh my gode i am so sorry  
> this chapter is yet again not proofread oh my gode i am so not sorry

*Jinguji’s P.O.V.*

 

Genki was not speaking to me even we were already standing beside each other near the entrance through the stage. The lights were still off in the tunnel-like place so the audience could not yet see us.

 

I was having cold sweat at the moment, my hands quite trembling, and my heart was pounding...not because we had to perform in front of a big audience, but because I’ll be performing with Genki whom I’ve just confessed on a while ago, and the fact that we would not be having any backdancers is a big plus on the nervousness I was feeling. It would only be the two of us on that stage. We would have to pull off a really good performance, which I doubt would happen today.

 

“Anou...” I started.

 

Genki did not reply. He did not even look at me.

 

“Ten seconds ‘til the music plays and you go out there!” I heard somebody say from the backstage.

 

I heaved out a nervous sigh before I decided to talk again. “I’m sorry for breaking it out to you suddenly.” I said, referring to my feelings.  “I’m not expecting for you to like me back but, _please_ don’t ignore me.”

 

After I’ve finished speaking, the music played and we went out to the stage, I first before him since my lines come first.

 

I looked at the audience. They were so many and loud as usual. I can see the high expectations in their eyes. And for the first time since I do not know when, my confidence went lower than my future grave would be.

 

I started to sing the first few lines of the song, my voice trembling but I still continued.

 

 _Denwa nari tsuzuketa ie wo nukedashitetara~_ I started.

 

And then finally Genki’s lines came.

 

He walked off to the side of the stage opposite where I was standing, obvious that he was still avoiding me even though it’s still our performance time. I wanted to go to him and tell him that we shouldn’t let others notice this _quarrel._

Genki’s first lines were over and I readied myself for the part where we have to sing together. I did not bother turning my head over to him to give him a calling look for I knew that if I did that, people would notice and would give misconceptions, which are probably not misconceptions after all.

 

I did not move from my place.

 

I was just about to open my mouth when I felt Genki’s hand from behind me. He grabbed me by the shoulder and turned me around, his free had holding the microphone while the other went from my shoulder to my left cheek.

 

The audience roared squealing, while I forgot how to sing...confused if he had forgiven me for what I did earlier or if he was just acting for the audience’s sake.

 

“ _Naze aeba au hodo ni_ ~” Genki sang, pinching my cheek a little while raising an eyebrow as if saying that I should sing too, and I understood.

 

“ _kokoro wa~”_ I took a step closer to him and did the same thing he was doing to my cheek, I held his.

 

 “ _chigire sou ni naru....Every Time_ ~” We sang together, not caring if we were even hear or not because of all the audience yelling and shouting and screaming and squealing and flailing.

 

At the quick pause in the song, Genki lowered his microphone and told me something: “Let’s do the thing.” That I understood immediately. Genki and I had come up with that brilliant idea. We had practiced it ever since the practices for the first Lips performance we had to do and I had to hold back every single time we do it, but we weren’t able to do it back then since the choreographer thought that it would be too much of a fanservice because we already have backdancers who also needs the attention of the audience but now, nobody would be stopping us and we wouldn’t be blamed nor be guilty for stealing spotlights for we are the only ones under it right now.

 

Before the next lines came, we separated and Genki gave me a smile. It made me feel at ease. “Daijobu.” He said before raising his microphone back up near his lips.

_“Sono akaku somaru”_ we sang facing the audience, doing little of the steps we had rehearsed for the previous performance. When the word _kuchibir_  came, we turned to face each other and I touched Genki’s lips and leaned in even closer, making the audience loud yet again.

 

 _“...kuchibiru chikazukete kowashitai...”_ He must have felt the tremble of my hand, because Genki held it with his free hand whilst singing _._

The original plan was to pull each other even closer to the point that it would look as if we were nosing each other’s neck, which would probably would really be the situation in case we followed the plan but Genki chose not to when he held my trembling hand. He pulled me and I stumbled forward but I still continued singing as if I had an idea on what was happening.

 

He placed my hand onto his shoulder, put his hand on my back (and ran his fingers on it, I think), and leaned even closer, making the inner material of our costumes grind over the other’s.

 

Before I even knew it, the music was over and Genki released me and started to walk to the backstage but an idea struck me. I know the music was already done playing but I did not need that anyway. So I pulled walking Genki by his hand, who was taken by surprise but then played along with me anyway, maybe thinking that there is no way out of this now.

I slowly ran my hand from his neck and stopped at his cheek.

 

“ _Love~_ kimi no mirai futatsu ni wakarete... ”I sang the original first line of the song. Genki understood.

 

He stepped closer but he did not put his microphone near his mouth for he had a better plan: With his free hand, he held my microphone, his hand above mine and together we whispered,

 

“ _Lips.”_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

*Jinguji*

“Don’t assume that I’ve already forgotten what you did earlier.” Genki threw me a short glare after our performance. My heart sank.

We were now back inside the dressing room, only the two of us again yet it felt kind of congested because of the heavy tension I felt in my chest when Genki spoke.

But then he chuckled. “I’m sorry. Did I scare you?” he said. I looked at him, not sure of what my expression was but I did not speak and let him continue. His face turned serious. “You know me quite well. And you know that I don’t like quarrels to last for long, right? So I’m thinking of letting this matter pass.” He paused and gave me a piercing look. “Although of course you will have to treat me a good American meal in a good American buffet restaurant.” He finished with a grin.

~.~.~

*Genki*

The truth is that I felt a bit bad after getting mad at Jinguji before our performance even though it was really his fault for kissing me in the first place but no matter how hard I try to hold in the urge to talk to him, the words still found their way out even at the time when I least expected it; during our Lips performance itself. I was planning on not speaking to him at least until tomorrow, but Jinguji’s nervous and almost-going-to-cry look just pulled the trigger for me to talk to him.

“Daijobu.” I had told him and I knew that there is no going back to the plan of ignoring him. The performance had ended receiving way more applause and noise from the audience compared to that of our first Lips performance. 

~.~.~

One of the agency’s vans dropped me in front of my house’s gate. I thanked the driver properly before getting inside.

“Jinguji-kun called earlier.” My mother told me after greeting me with a hug. I realized that he got home earlier than I did.

“What did he say?” I asked whilst taking my shoes off, putting them in a shelf, and then getting my indoor shoes and then wearing them before I enter further inside the house.

“Something about finding a restaurant. He asked me where you would prefer to eat, and that it’s his treat.”

“Souka.” I replied with a knowing nod.

“Why would he treat you?”

“Well he kind of owes me something.” I made up and then dashed upstairs to my bedroom to avoid any further questioning from my mother.

 

That night after dinner, I decided to call Jinguji back, thinking that he still might feel a bit restless about things that had happened today.

“Are you still thinking about it?” I spoke immediately after he had picked up the call.

I heard a short “Heh?” before he replied. “Look Genki, I really am sorry for breaking it up to you so suddenly. You know me. I’ve always had a hard time looking for ways on how I should put my emotions into actions and tha—”

“I was talking about the restaurant.” I chuckled. “Have you found one already?”

“Oh. Sorry.” He said, and I kind of felt the embarrassment in his voice. He did not speak for a good few moments so I decided that it is my turn to speak again.

“Look Jinguji, we cannot carry on if you’ll be always like that. We cannot continue being a pair if even just one of us feels uncomfortable of the other. And I’m talking about you, not me. Okay?” I told him. “We can’t go on when one of us feels different.”

“What do you mean?” he sounded crestfallen. I think he thought of the opposite thing.

“You’re hopeless.” I sighed. “I said, we cannot continue if even one of us feels different.”

“Yes yes, I get that.” He paused. “So...are you telling me I got rejected on the first day?” If I had a plank right now and if we were speaking face to face, I think I might whack him about ten times with that.

“BAKA.” I scolded. “You’re going to treat me food, right?” he did not answer, probably waiting for me to continue. “Think of it as a date.”

I finally said it.

“Eh?”

“I said that we can’t be when we’re different.” I repeated, hoping that he would get it this time but to my dismay, that idiot’s brain did not seem to be working at this very moment. So I continued. “So try making me feel the same way as you do.”

And with that I dropped the call. One, to give Jinguji time to absorb what I had said.

And two, for I kind of feel embarrassed saying that.

~.~.~


	7. We're Even

 

 

***Jinguji***

 

I arrived at our meeting place, under the biggest tree in the park, fifteen minutes earlier than the time that Genki and I had set yesterday night. I think I may have been a bit overexcited for today. Too excited in fact, that I didn’t even care to eat my breakfast because I woke up at 10am (and also because I thought that Genki and I would be eating out anyways)  and I spent more than an hour grooming myself and when I have already finished, it was already 11:45...and Genki and I had agreed to meet up at 12noon.

When I arrived at the park, it was only then that I realized that our clock at home was advanced for thirty minutes, and so explaining why I got here early.

Today’s Monday. Of course, we have school today but we were excused in advanced by the jimusho for a scheduled photoshoot but then the photoshoot was moved for tomorrow and so Genki and I took the chance of meeting today. Given that it’s Monday, we have little to no reason to be worried about fans stalking up on us.

I kind of pondered on how the universe existed for a while when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

 

“Hey.” Genki greeted, smiling.

 

I just nodded, suddenly feeling quite embarrassed.

 

“Don’t.”

 

                “What?” I blinked.

 

                “If you’re feeling sorry again, don’t.”

 

                I lowered my head. “I...I can’t help it.”

 

                He chuckled. I gave him a questioning look.

 

                “You’re going out of your usually flashy character.” He grinned. “It’s not very Jinguji.”

 

                I tried my best to summon back my _charai_ -ness. I grinned sheepishly at Genki.

 

                “There~” he patted my shoulder. “My Puu-chan is back.”

 

                I blinked at his statement of calling me “Puu-chan” and attaching a possession to it. All of a sudden, I lost being in character again. “Eh?”

 

                “Mm?” Genki looked at me innocently.

 

                “Ah, nothing.”

 

~.~.~

 

***Genki***

 

“Mm?” I looked at Jinguji, trying to look innocent, pretending to not know why he reacted like that.

 

“Ah, nothing.” He replied, but it was obvious that he went out of his usually flashy character again.

 

.

 

.

.

.

.

.

.

“HEHHHH?!” My jaw dropped once Jinguji and I had entered the restaurant that he planned to go to. “Sugoi!”

 

                The place was HUGE.  Everything and everyone seemed really nice. There were chandeliers that hung from the ceiling, the walls were painted dark brown, the floor was carpeted red, the tables were arranged well, and there were three very long tables in the middle where the food were placed and presented. If there weren’t long tables, I would’ve mistaken the place as a high class restaurant that only accepts inside people in formal wear.

 

“Wait...” I turned to Jinguji, who seemed to be just as amazed as I was.

 

“What?” he looked at me.

 

“Are you sure we should be here?” I tilted my head. “It looks very expensive in here...”

 

Jinguji scoffed and looked at me with one of his eyebrows up, and for a moment right there, the Jinguji I knew before who wasn’t so shy in front of me came back. “Are you belittling me?” he smirked. “I am a Johnny’s! Of course I can afford this...”

 

“Okay, okay, if you say so.” And with that, I took his arm and immediately went to find empty seats as if I would be the one treating him.

 

~.~.~

 

  About two hours later, Jinguji and I finally felt our tummies were already full.

 

“I’d like to eat more but...” I said, tapping my stomach.

 

“Oi, stop it already.” Jinguji told me. “That’d be bad.”

 

“Pft.” I smiled. “I was kidding.”

 

He just smirked.

 

“So...where should we go now?” I asked, tilting my head.

 

He stood up and went out from our table. I did too. “I think we should go home.” He said. There was a sudden change in his voice.

 

“Why?” I frowned. I thought he should be excited over today?

 

He just started to walk out of the restaurant. I followed him, bothering him with pokes on his back, saying “doushite? Doushite?” repeatedly, annoyingly.

 

When we’ve already reached outside the restaurant, he turned to me and squinted. “It’s getting late.”

 

My brows crossed in the middle of my forehead. “But it’s only a little past two in the afternoon.”

 

When he didn’t reply after a long moment, I sighed. “Yes, well. Okay. Let’s go home.” I told him. “I’ll be on my way. Bye.”

 

And with that, I turned around and started walking the direction of my house.

 

~.~.~

 

* **Jinguji***

I buried my face onto my pillow once I’ve reached my house and entered my room.

 

I then grunted, recalling how much of an epic failure I was earlier, making Genki go home like I wasn’t the one who likes him. The feeling was terrible, although I had a reason for not wanting to spend more time with him: Since Genki had been very kind to me ever since I confessed to him because he didn’t want our relationship as shinme to be ruined, I was afraid that I might take advantage of his kindness eventually. And so I thought of restraining myself on being very close to him while I am not yet sure if he also do likes me or not.

 

I buried my face onto the pillow even more as I sighed, if that’s possible. Just then, I heard my phone ring. Without removing my face from the pillow, I fished my phone out of my pocket and slid my thumb across the screen to get the call.

 

“Mm?” I said, my face still in my pillow.

 

“Jin-chan? Do you have a cold? Why is your voice like that?” I quickly sat up from my bed upon hearing Genki’s voice. Why is he calling me? Isn’t he supposed to be mad?

 

“Ah, no.” I spoke, now with a much clearer voice. “My face was in the pillow earlier so…”

 

“Souka.” Genki chuckled, and my heart somewhat fluttered at the warmth of his voice.

 

“So why…did you call?” I bit my lip.

 

“I was worried that you are blaming things on yourself again.”

 

“What? I wasn’t..” I tried to lie but…

 

“You don’t have to stop yourself whenever you want to get into deep talks with me. We’ve been together for years. It’s actually kind of weird when you aren’t noisy around me.” He sighed. “I hope you know how hard it is for me to start all the talking when you are quiet. It’s not like me. And being quiet is so not you.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“BAKA!” Suddenly, my door slammed open as Genki shouted at me and attacked my hair, ruffling it to a mess.

 

I blinked a hundred times and then stared at him, my eyes wide. “W-why are you here?....HOW are you here?”

 

“Well your mother let me in, of course.” And then he poked my forehead. “And…Don’t be always sorry.”

 

He sat on my bed, beside me. “I’m getting really tired of this, Jin.”

 

“You don’t have to fake your kindness towards me.” I told him directly, although my head was down.

 

“And you have to stop not being my Puu-chan because I will absolutely not like this….this shy Jinguji.” He spoke in a manner that as if it was a joke, but I knew that it wasn’t.

 

“How am I supposed to not be shy when all I remember when I look at you is that first kiss I stole from you—”

 

“What?” he chuckled, and I frowned at him. “So it’s just about that?”

 

“You talk about it like it’s no big deal.” I stared at him. “Although you quite very mad when I did it.”

 

“I was shocked, alright.” He explained. “Who wouldn’t be?”

 

“I guess I won’t be shocke—”

 

My sentence was stopped, and so was my whole universe, when Genki suddenly pulled me by the shoulder and gently placed his lips on mine. When Genki pulled back, I was not able to say anything.

 

“Well you are.” He mumbled, suddenly being shy of the action, I think.

 

“What?” I blinked once.

 

“You were obviously shocked.” His lips came to curve to form a smile, his dimples showing.

 

“Why did you—”

 

“Now we’re even.” He stood up.

 

“Eh?” I looked at him with a questioning look.

 

“You shouldn’t be too shy around me anymore because of a kiss you stole from me…” he smiled again. “…since I got my revenge on you now.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated finally!!
> 
> I think I ship JiguIwa too much, I put a kiss scene in every story.. XD I think I'll have to hold back next time


	8. Chapter 8

“….I am so confused.” Jinguji stared at the floor, touching the corner of his lips.

 

“Well, you’re confusing me too.” Genki said, pouting as he placed his hands on his hips but then dropped them again as he continued to speak. “I thought you like me?”  


“I love you.” Jinguji corrected, now standing up. It made Genki lower his head in slight embarrassment. And then Jinguji spoke again. “I’m just not used to you being like that to me.”

 

Genki sighed and Jinguji still continued on talking. “I don’t think I will ever adjust to it. I—” Jinguji’s sentence was then cut to close when Genki suddenly snapped at him.

 

“Jin.” Genki stared at him. His tone was sharp, as if he’s had enough of something and he was ticked off. “You can never avoid change if we get into a relationship. But with the way you’re acting and talking, it’s like you don’t want anything to change.” He sighed again when he paused. “It’s like you don’t like us to be in a relationship.”

 

Jinguji stuttered. “T-That’s not what I meant. I—”

 

“This is getting really tiring, Jin.” Genki arranged the strap of his bag over his shoulder and then turned for the door. “I’m leaving. Make up your mind.” He said, turning the knob of the door and then opening it, and then stepping out of the room.

 

But before Genki could completely step outside, Jinguji had pulled him back by both arms and closed the door.  “No, please. Stay.” Jinguji had a very fragile stare, as if he was finally giving up to something he shouldn’t do.

Genki opened his mouth, but before he could even speak, Jinguji had already given him a peck on the lips, followed by another, and then another again until it turned into a long and passion-laced kiss, going deeper with every second that passes.

Jinguji tried to kiss Genki impossibly deeper, resulting to forcing the older boy to lean onto the nearest wall as he got pinned there, no choice other than just holding onto Jinguji’s arms as he tried to push the taller one.

“W-wait…” Genki said when his lips were finally freed.

Jinguji did not seem to hear this, or rather chose not to listen to it, as he continued on with his actions, kissing Genki’s cheek and then down to his jaw and neck, occasionally licking and sucking onto some parts of skin which later had become reddened with marks.

 

“Jin, wait…”

 

Once again ignoring the shorter boy, Jinguji went back to kissing Genki on the lips, his tongue sliding past the other’s as both of his hands roamed around Genki’s upper body before lifting up the hem of his shirt and mapping whichever skin Jinguji’s hands could touch. His hands roamed over on Genki’s sides, felt the muscles on Genki’s back, and then went onto touching Genki’s stomach, going up his chest.

 

Genki tried to pull apart from the younger one. “Please, stop.” He said, his voice too frail.

 

Jinguji had finally seemed to hear this and immediately withdrew his hands and stepped back. He only stared at Genki, who seemed to be too shocked of what had happened; his eyes were on the floor, his lips were pursed, and even when his hands were balled into fists, it was too obvious that he was trembling. Jinguji stepped closer to him again and placed the tenderest kiss he could onto Genki’s lips. After that, he stepped back again and ruffled Genki’s hair and he smiled weakly. “I’m sorry I had to make you go through that.” His lips trembled, but he continued to speak anyway. “But at least now I know that you were just willing to date me because you didn’t want to ruin our bond, regardless of how you feel. I really appreciate that, Genki. But please don’t push yourself too hard onto things you really don’t want to do…” he opened the door and led Genki by the hand outside “…because it just hurts me more.” He left another soft kiss on Genki’s lips, not a word was said but it was really something similar as to saying “goodbye”. And after that, he closed his door and just listened to Genki’s slow steps walking away from him.

      When he was already sure that Genki was not inside his house anymore, Jinguji faced his room and his sight immediately got blurred. Tears formed on the corners of his eyes and he took a long and shaky breath as those tears trickled down his cheeks. He wiped the tears off with his forearm and he sat down on the bed as he tried to inhale and exhale deeply, trying to calm himself down and trying to bear with the pain he was having. He had to do this. He had to go back to his old, sassy self so that Genki’s efforts on trying to keep their bond close wouldn’t go to waste. He had to be composed. He had to forget about his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter is next!!
> 
> AHHH I DON'T WANT TO END THIS YETTT


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